Sunday, February 5, 2012

Why what seems like the worst thing is actually the best thing

5 months ago, I left my job at GEICO and started a job with another company. The night I accepted the job offer I had 2 other offers with comparable or higher salaries that I turned down to go to this company. Why? Because in my heart of hearts I knew that I was supposed to. My husband confirmed it, my heart confirmed it- so I did it. I took a recruiting job in an industry I knew little about on a leap of faith. A few weeks in, I knew I was in way over my head. I didn't understand the terminology, the industry or what my role in all of it really was. I felt sad, frustrated and confused...why had the Lord lead me here when I was putting in 100% effort and literally failing completely?

But I pressed on. 'It will get better,' I told myself. 'Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get your head out of the clouds!' So on I worked. With up to an hour commute each way, I worked from 8am to 6pm, usually through lunch, then drove home another hour. I was exhausted. But I was doing my best and giving 100% and then some. I started to feel a stirring in my heart- the job didn't sit quite right with me and everything I loved (photography, cooking, spending time with my husband/friends/family, etc) was being shoved into a corner. 'I'm no quitter!' I told myself. 'March on!' So I shoved the nagging feeling that the Lord had something different in mind and kept pushing on.

Then I lost my job...and I felt so relieved. So grateful. So fully of joy....and ready for what the Lord had next for me.

...and I'm still waiting. I'm working until February 15th and then after that have no plans to find another corporate position. After a lot of seeking and praying and asking those close to me to pray and seek God's will with me, I feel really affirmed that this is to be a season where I'm at home. Of course I will not be lying around eating bon bons and watching soaps all day. :) I'm going to be focusing on my photography, continuing my novel (2 chapters down, 50 to go!), blogging and working on getting items together for a craft booth in Canton. I really believe that God has made me uniquely different in the sense that my mind works completely differently then most people and He's given me a gift of creativity that would be a literal sin to waste. He has made me want to decorate and explore and create- and I am SO GRATEFUL.

I've always lamented that I have "frou frou" gifts that aren't practical and aren't useful. It couldn't be further from the truth! God Himself is the Grand Creator- if you don't believe me take a look around you! Look at colors and rainbows and oceans and stars and babies! God delights in creating beauty, and gave me the same heart for it. So where it will take me, I don't know...but I hope to look back in 6 months and be able to giggle at it say so THIS is why the thing that felt like the worst thing is actually the best thing. He always gives exceedingly abundantly more then we can ask or I am excited to see what He has for me. :)

So get ready....some cool things are about to happen for me. Hey God! :)

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